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Memories.I smile.

"Hey.Yes.Hey.I'm repeating.I laugh.Yes, I'm drunk.I am walking.I laugh again.It's fun.I take a cigarette off my pocket.I also take the match and slowly lit my cigarette.I look at it softly and then I take a smoke.Ahh..It feels amazing.Just me and you.All my vital signs are in allert now.I let the smoke go out.I watch it fly in front of my eyes.I watch the dark sky and think of you.Yes.It is nice somehow.I take my mp3 out and turn it on.I put the headphones in my ears and turn the music on.I wouldn't usually specify, but:Közeli helyeken by Depresszió.Nice song.It goes very well with the alchool.I smile.I take another smoke from my cigarette.I watch it carefully.I'm trying to sing the song along, no matter how the lyrics are.They wrote my soul.I smile.Yes!Yes.I'd love another night with friends.Right now.Right here.All because it doesn't count where and when it happens.It's just..the persons that matter.It's just the happiness that comes along that counts.It's the drinks.The thick smoke that our cigarettes leave.Ah.I want to see you now.Yes, I'm smoking.Yes, I'm drinking.Yes, I'm just another vagabond now.I know, you might not be really proud of me right now, but I'm afraid I had to dissappoint you sooner or later.I'm not really like that, but at some certain moment I had to do it too.I take another smoke.I sigh.I take another sip of my drink.Yes, I am drunk!Yes!Look at me!I burst in tears.Yes..My voice gets lower.Yes..I keep on smoking.I wipe my tears.I laugh.Ahh.I'm better now.I smile.I'm walking.I take some other smoke of my sweet cigarette.I know, I always pretend that I know everything.In fact I just want to hear you saying all kind of stuff so I can learn from you.I want to learn.I know, I always pretend I am happy, when in fact I just want to see you smiling next to me, so I can smile too.I'm drunk.Hell yeah!I am.I really am.Drunk.I've never thought I'd get to this, but I am not gonna complain or anything.Feel it!Taste it!Watch me scream!I yell out loud.I smile.I don't know if you hear the same thing as I say, but I might at least try, right?.I take another smoke and a sip on alchool.It's not me, I know thins for certain, but I'll accept it for a while.It might be fun.I smile.I'm just me, in some other way.I smile.Yes.That's it.I take the last smoke of the cigarette and I extinguish it.It was cool.I remembered a lot of things.Memories.I smile.It is nice to remember all kind of stuff that makes you smile, even tought it was all proof of stupidness and shit.They are memories.They make our life more beautiful in moments when we just want to get our past away cause in fact, what's the matter?"

I just need that

"Apart of that, I am happy, you know?I close my eyes. I let the rain clean my past.I let my memories fall slowly in a dark corner of my mind.Why? It's simple.There's no reason.It is like that just because I want it to be like that.I catch some rain drops in my hand.I crash them and sqeeze them and .. simply let them fall on the ground.I open my eyes suddenly when I hear them hitting the ground.I sigh, as I always do.I..I think I'm going back home.Yes.It is just the perfect thing to do.I miss the old fluffy black blind cat called Parks.I miss little John, the tin soldier and the dusty musical box.I miss old grandpa from the wall and the frail swing in the roses garden.Yes.Everything came back to me as a shadow.I think it is what I need.I no longer need this life of illusions and blind fortune.I no longer want to sit here, all by myself.I am happy, please don't get me wrong.I am really happy! And I know I'll come back soon, but for moment, I need my past back.I need my mommy and the old fairy stories.I need home!"