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Living my own eternity

"I keep my head in my lap.I am so scared.I am caught between hell and heaven.I cover my head with my hands.I close my eyes and I keep them closed.I'm trembling.It's the first time when I am affraid.It feels like hell.Suddenly I release all my muscles.I get up and I start walking like nothing happened.It's like I've just woke up from a nightmare.I am free.I can be whoever I want to be, how I want to be, because there is nobody that can say anything about it anymore.I don't need to worry about anything.Now that I'm dead.I feel weird.I act weird.I am a weird person.Or I've been.I am .. a ghost now?It doesn't matter.I'm walking, hitting little rocks with my shoe.I am thinking deep.I'm in my world now.I need to learn to be myself.I am kind of sorry for what I left.For my dog life.But this is what I wanted to do and I am happy with my decision.I sigh happily.How much I wish you'll find yourself in my words.Maybe someday it will happen.I've got enough time, now, that I've escaped from my deadly days.I can live forever, prisoner in my own eternity."

Forward and forth!

"I'm  feeling really heavy.Hundreads of clouds have fallen all over my corpse.I wish you'd see me now.Wait a second.Who am I talking to?I close my eyes.I am probably turning insane. I've got a lump in my throat.I can't breathe.My face got white.Sun lights me up.It's annoying.I want to escape right now!I'm still waiting painfull.My heart beats one more time and done.Everything is gone.I am so easy now.I'm getting up slowly.I leave my lifeless body.I take a look at it.I open my eyes wide, surprised.I was smiling.I died happy.I laugh a little.I start jumping around.It is fun.I can go everywhere everytime I wish.I can live my death exactly how I wish.I hope it is not going to end soon.I began singing.I watch the sunshines lighting world step by step.I listen to the tiny birds.Their twitter is a better music than anything.I enjoy listening to it.The best clock in the morning.I'm caught in this tale.I can see something covering the sun.I look straight.I watch it getting closer, and closer.Right when I was finally seeing it, I feel something on my shoulder.I turn around.I startle scared and I turn back.There is a demon behind me.I am scared to look forward.In my front I see something so white and shiny.I cover my eyes.I see, between my fingers, two huge wings.An angel.I rub my eyes.I let myself fall down.I cover my head in my lap.I raise my head slowly to see if it was an illusion.Two heads, a dark one and a shiny one hang above myself.I leave my head fall back softly.And this is not the end.My death is just the beggining of my story.And I take a last look to my future past."

I am falling

"I am falling.I raise my hand straight to the stars left on the black sky.I'm not moving too fast.I'm feeling like I'm in a slow motion movie.My hair's flying around me.It hits my face.I can feel my hair just like some little ice cubes scratching my face.It hurts somehow.I am falling.I can see a drop of warm water in front of my face, falling right after me.I touch my left eye.It's wet.I laugh a little.That's my tear.But I am not sad.I am just crying of happiness.Nobody would understand me now.I am all positive, but talking about negativity.Hell on earth.I am falling.All dead.I am so excited.I haven't ever thought death is my whole dream.I am going to a heaven full of demons.My own heaven.My own universe.My falling takes too much time.The sun has already began to light up the sky.I take a last look at it.I can clearly see that there is just one star left.Free fall.I wish that I'll remember what I did in future.Years and years later I'll tell you this story and you'll think that is happening right now.False.This is what I make you believe.I am falling.I am getting closer to the ground.I can hear a car's hooter.Closer.Closer.A little more.Done.I felt on the hard ground.I can feel pain in my entire body.Every little piece of me is trembling right now.Years of pain are now flowing through my blood out of my body.I am fully dead now.And I could do this forever and ever and once again." 

I am flying

 "I’m flying.It is still raining.Cold snow flies around me.I open my eyes wide.I can only see ice, everywhere I’m looking.It is still night and I'm flying to nowhere.It is cold.I’ve got sick of everyone and everything.I cover my ears with my cold hands. I am frozen, but I enjoy every single second lived here, above the entire world, in my own loneliness.Just me and myslef.I watch every white shiny headlight on the empty street.I can’t understand anyone.If everyone could hear the music of my soul.If everyone could see what I watch day by day.I’ve got melancholic with no reason.Random.This is how I feel.Still, I act like a weird person.I can’t recognise myself.I sigh.I’m still flying.Trying to reach unknown lands.Unknown.Of course.I take a look to my back and I see nothing.Moon has gone.It followed me all my way and disappeared when I needed it the most.Not the first one.I close my eyes in disappointment.Suddenly I startle.I can feel a golden warm shine on my ice cheek.The sun.I'm slowly smiling.It’s the most beautiful thing that happens in my life.I die for the first time."

I am walking

"I'm walking.I'm watching the sky.It's raining, but I can see no cloud on the black sky, I can only see the shiny stars crying.I can't pretend I am the unhappiest person I've ever seen, because I would lie.In fact I am really happy right now.I'm walking.This cold snow is shyly sitting on my hair.It's still raining and I can see the moon right now slowly falling on my shoulder.I take a deep breath.It's really funny how I'm acting like I am caught in earth's melancholy.I'm walking.I'm slowly smiling.Step by step I am getting closer to nothing.I'm smiling again.I can't control myself and I begin to laugh out loud.It is getting scary for everything around me.I am just smiling now.I take a look at the sky, one more time.The moon is shining and I can hear a dog barking to it.The moon seems happy.Someone who loves her.Amazing.I am walking.Slowly I get to be covered with snow.It is nice and friendly from it.The coldness it's getting me under it's wing.It's night and I'm not walking anymore.I began flying and I enjoy it.I close my eyes and I get straight into the coldness.I smile one more time."