No rain today

"I've got a headache.It is all I am capable to say.It's painfull, but somehow I enjoy it, just because I know it could have been worse.Maybe it's not the best thought, but it makes me see things totally different.It makes me know I am not the last one.I will never be.Nobody is.I am walking.I'm passing by an old house, all covered of dark green ivy.It's sad to see this city so silent, so dead.I am walking on the dark street, folowing my shadow.I am going into a garden.I see some old roses visible unkempt. I'm walking on the too-much-grown grass.All around I see cigarettes butts on the ground.I look forward and realise there is an old dusty swing in front of my eyes.I slowly walk towards it.I touch it with a hand and take a little dust on my dirty fingers.I sit.It is just like in my childhood.So pure and kind.So beautiful and .. wasted.I sigh.I am slowly pushing myself in front and back in the swing.It creaks.I'm slowly looking forward, in my left and in my right side.My eyes are lazyly following my comands and try to see everything all around.They are too tired.Near me, on the left side, there is a doll.I watch it straight.I am confused.Should I?Do I have the right to?I'm leaning down and carefully take it.I am softly placing it in my lap.I used to have a doll too.I used to play and sing along all day long.I used to .. Hmm..I take a moment for me.To think.I used to do many things.I am now just silently looking at the dusty dirty beautiful doll.I begin playing on the swing again.I watch the sky.It is cloudy.It is dark.But it does not rain anymore.Not on this street, not today.Maybe tomorrow, who knows? But for now it is all silence and peace.But this peace comes along with that silent, deadly fuss."