Living my own eternity

"I keep my head in my lap.I am so scared.I am caught between hell and heaven.I cover my head with my hands.I close my eyes and I keep them closed.I'm trembling.It's the first time when I am affraid.It feels like hell.Suddenly I release all my muscles.I get up and I start walking like nothing happened.It's like I've just woke up from a nightmare.I am free.I can be whoever I want to be, how I want to be, because there is nobody that can say anything about it anymore.I don't need to worry about anything.Now that I'm dead.I feel weird.I act weird.I am a weird person.Or I've been.I am .. a ghost now?It doesn't matter.I'm walking, hitting little rocks with my shoe.I am thinking deep.I'm in my world now.I need to learn to be myself.I am kind of sorry for what I left.For my dog life.But this is what I wanted to do and I am happy with my decision.I sigh happily.How much I wish you'll find yourself in my words.Maybe someday it will happen.I've got enough time, now, that I've escaped from my deadly days.I can live forever, prisoner in my own eternity."